Sometime I dont think people realize the gravity of what they say or print. At times its hard to understand why. Do they mean to be hurtful, do they disagree with the way we handled things, do they hate us? The reason I ask this is because appearently we struck a nerve with someone. As most of you my know Chris and I memorialized our daughter by giving back on her birthday. A local news station decided to run a story on us, aired it, and put it on thier website. People have been commenting with most of it positive. One person decided that was not the route they were going to take. Below I have copied the text of thier comment.
May God bless people who suffer tragedies everyday and don't feel the need to advertise their good deeds. Maybe KGW should do a story on people who bring sick children, by choice, into this world with no emotional or financial means to support them. Who paid for their sick child's care? Who paid for her funeral? Wake up people! These parents are not victims!!!!! The only victim in this story is their poor baby who had to suffer everyday she was alive because of her selfish parents.
As the day progressed it stung more and more. Why would they say that? What have we ever done to them? Why are they so heartless? Its hard to say why someone would say these things. In order for me to try to understand why and be sure to myself that what we did was right I had to break down the comments sentence by sentence. Here are my conclusions:
May God bless people who suffer tragedies everyday and don't feel the need to advertise their good deeds.
I don't recall asking KGW to come and do a story on us. They came to us and asked if they could. We agreed in order to get the story of our daughter out and to raise more awareness for OI. We never looked for any praise for donating gifts.
Maybe KGW should do a story on people who bring sick children, by choice, into this world with no emotional or financial means to support them.
Yes it was our choice to bring Zayana into this world knowing her possible condition. If we had to we would make the same choice. Never in a million years did we ever think about terminating the pregnancy. We decided to leave it in Gods hands and we know the Lord would not give us anything more than He thought we could handle.
Were we financially able to support her? We believe we were. We both work and would have sacrificed in order to make it work.
Were we emotionally able? It was trying at times but again the Lord gave us what we could handle. Again if it was required we made sacrifices and worked together to make it a loving home for our precious Z.
Who paid for their sick child's care? Who paid for her funeral?
I dont like that they called my Z "sick" first of all. Yes she did have a condition but she was not "sick"! WE paid for her care. WE paid for her funeral. We did have help in the form of donations and manpower but we overall paid for everything. Beside I think that WE paid emotionally for her care and for her funeral.
Wake up people! These parents are not victims!!!!!
I dont ever recall ever playing the victim in all of this. Chis and I would never call ourselves victims. I really dont know why this person thinks we are wanting to be victims.
The only victim in this story is their poor baby who had to suffer everyday she was alive because of her selfish parents.
This one really gets me. Dont you EVER tell me that my daughter suffered. YOU do not know her and you do not know us. HOW DARE YOU say that my daughter suffered! Did you not see the picture, the videos? How can you say that see suffered! She is the most loving, caring person I know and she taught me a lot about love. You can stand to learn a bit about love and perseverance from my daughter. As for selfish parents, we may be. If it was selfish to want to be a parent, then we are selfish, if its selfish to love such a wonderful child, then yes we are selfish, if its selfish to want to spread her love and keep her legacy and memory alive, then YES we are selfish. I am selfish for loving my daughter Zayana Grace Mendez!
I think I have said my peace on this issue. I know there was no need to defend ourselves but I felt that I had to say something. I really do hope that this person was just having a bad day and did not mean what they said. I really do. I want to believe that everyone is good natured and want to see the good in everyone. I am more than willing to discuss this with this person if they ever want to. I know the likely hood of them reading my post here is slim but if you do and you want to talk about our story and our daughter I would be more than happy to. I am always up to talk about my Z. I really do not wish any ill will on this person and hope that they come to a realization that what they said hurts. It hurt me, it hurt my wife, my family and most of all, the memory of my daughter. I would like to know what my have offended you in all of this but know that I do not apologize for it. We were doing what we feel any parent would do to honor the memory of their child.
And to my beloved daughter, I will always fight for you till my dying day. Your mom and I were your biggest advocates in the hospital and we continue to be. I will never let anyone soil your memory or tarnish your legacy. Daddy will always be there to protect you. At time I feel like I failed you in this life but for what its worth I will continue to live in your memory until God decides its time to reunite us in Heaven.
Daddy misses and loves you oh so much sweetheart!
May God bless people who suffer tragedies everyday and don't feel the need to advertise their good deeds. Maybe KGW should do a story on people who bring sick children, by choice, into this world with no emotional or financial means to support them. Who paid for their sick child's care? Who paid for her funeral? Wake up people! These parents are not victims!!!!! The only victim in this story is their poor baby who had to suffer everyday she was alive because of her selfish parents.
applespice said on December 25, 2011 at 11:59AM
I have tried to brush it off thinking, "OK, people are entitled to their own opinions". For the most part I was not giving it to much attention when my wife brought it up to me on Christmas morning. I was busy with one of the video projects I had decided to try to complete so that kept me occupied. Then I realized how quiet it had gotten in our apartment and I looked at my wife. I could see the hurt in her eyes. I asked her if she was alright. She said she was but I could tell it was eating at her from within. I asked her again a little later. She said she was but admitted to being hurt by the comment. That is when I started to feel it too. The hurt that someone could talk ill of such a good thing we tried to do in the name of our daughter. The hurt that this persons comment had done to my wife. I dont care if people talk bad about me, but when they hurt my wife, my child, or any of my family members that is just unacceptable.
As the day progressed it stung more and more. Why would they say that? What have we ever done to them? Why are they so heartless? Its hard to say why someone would say these things. In order for me to try to understand why and be sure to myself that what we did was right I had to break down the comments sentence by sentence. Here are my conclusions:
May God bless people who suffer tragedies everyday and don't feel the need to advertise their good deeds.
I don't recall asking KGW to come and do a story on us. They came to us and asked if they could. We agreed in order to get the story of our daughter out and to raise more awareness for OI. We never looked for any praise for donating gifts.
Maybe KGW should do a story on people who bring sick children, by choice, into this world with no emotional or financial means to support them.
Yes it was our choice to bring Zayana into this world knowing her possible condition. If we had to we would make the same choice. Never in a million years did we ever think about terminating the pregnancy. We decided to leave it in Gods hands and we know the Lord would not give us anything more than He thought we could handle.
Were we financially able to support her? We believe we were. We both work and would have sacrificed in order to make it work.
Were we emotionally able? It was trying at times but again the Lord gave us what we could handle. Again if it was required we made sacrifices and worked together to make it a loving home for our precious Z.
Who paid for their sick child's care? Who paid for her funeral?
I dont like that they called my Z "sick" first of all. Yes she did have a condition but she was not "sick"! WE paid for her care. WE paid for her funeral. We did have help in the form of donations and manpower but we overall paid for everything. Beside I think that WE paid emotionally for her care and for her funeral.
Wake up people! These parents are not victims!!!!!
I dont ever recall ever playing the victim in all of this. Chis and I would never call ourselves victims. I really dont know why this person thinks we are wanting to be victims.
The only victim in this story is their poor baby who had to suffer everyday she was alive because of her selfish parents.
This one really gets me. Dont you EVER tell me that my daughter suffered. YOU do not know her and you do not know us. HOW DARE YOU say that my daughter suffered! Did you not see the picture, the videos? How can you say that see suffered! She is the most loving, caring person I know and she taught me a lot about love. You can stand to learn a bit about love and perseverance from my daughter. As for selfish parents, we may be. If it was selfish to want to be a parent, then we are selfish, if its selfish to love such a wonderful child, then yes we are selfish, if its selfish to want to spread her love and keep her legacy and memory alive, then YES we are selfish. I am selfish for loving my daughter Zayana Grace Mendez!
I think I have said my peace on this issue. I know there was no need to defend ourselves but I felt that I had to say something. I really do hope that this person was just having a bad day and did not mean what they said. I really do. I want to believe that everyone is good natured and want to see the good in everyone. I am more than willing to discuss this with this person if they ever want to. I know the likely hood of them reading my post here is slim but if you do and you want to talk about our story and our daughter I would be more than happy to. I am always up to talk about my Z. I really do not wish any ill will on this person and hope that they come to a realization that what they said hurts. It hurt me, it hurt my wife, my family and most of all, the memory of my daughter. I would like to know what my have offended you in all of this but know that I do not apologize for it. We were doing what we feel any parent would do to honor the memory of their child.
And to my beloved daughter, I will always fight for you till my dying day. Your mom and I were your biggest advocates in the hospital and we continue to be. I will never let anyone soil your memory or tarnish your legacy. Daddy will always be there to protect you. At time I feel like I failed you in this life but for what its worth I will continue to live in your memory until God decides its time to reunite us in Heaven.
Daddy misses and loves you oh so much sweetheart!
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